Attitude of Gratitude (12-Pack Guarantee)

There’s a few sayings that inspired this song.  “The pen is mightier than the sword.” “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.”  “God, don’t grant me luck, grant me timing.” Well, those and many more like them are all true, no doubt.  Maybe there’s a slogan that sums it up best.  That’s why I call this number,

Attitude of Gratitude (or 12-pack Guarantee)

I know and love his heart and his integrity

My time with him I took the bitter with the sweet

I love his heart, his soul his life

And I pity his new wife

She’s a walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee

He’s a good man like my daddy showed could be

When he wants to be the man he wants to be

He chose Bud Light over me

That’s when I refused to be

His walkin’ talkin’ 12 pack guarantee

Now I’m not being mean, that woman surely knows

From her tipsy frosted head down to her toes

It’s her job at Dairy Queen            

That fills his Jeep with gasoline     
She pays the trailer rent and light
The neighbors’ cars wake ‘em up at night
Her job’s a walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee

His Gifts of Venus can make any woman gasp

But barley brews keep it lowered to half mast

On the night they’re newly wed    

She’ll need the bunny in her bed
She’ll need more than a broom
To get the groom outta his own room
She’s just his walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee

[Slowly, with great feeling, like a hymn or gospel song…]

Now we’ve both said all there is to be said

To our waters we have both been surely led

He married beer and bread and board

Now it’s half his says the law and Lord

He’s got his walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee

I may have gone from debutante to double wide

That never hurt my love for me, just my pride

I miss the good man at my side

So strong and safe, he was my guide

But I’m no walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee

She’s his walkin’ talkin’ ice cream hawkin’
Bet my talkin’s set her sister squakin’

Better her than me…
She’s his walkin’ talkin’ 12 pack guarantee


Copyright 2011 Moira A Toner